My Hot Teacher Quistis: Sizzling Sex Mysteries of Balamb Garden
by myhotteacherquistis69
Summary: After an awkward encounter with Quistis, Squall learns that FFVIII is not being re-released on the Nintendo Switch and embarks on a violent path of destruction.


My Hot Teacher Quistis:

Sizzling Sex Mysteries of Balamb Garden

Squall woke up in the nurses office with a big headache and an even bigger hard-on. He'd been dreaming of Quistis, his fighting teacher at Balamb Garden. His vision was blurry, coming in and out of focus, and he smelled butt. Or he smelled OF butt. He couldn't figure out which.

Ass he tried to sit up, he banged his face in a smelly butt.

"OH MY GOD WHAT IS THIS?!" Squall begged for mercy.

"It's my big smelly ass Squall, go ahead and eat it like the groceries." It was Quistis, the woman he'd dreamed of, squatting over Squalls face.

"EWWWW NO! I would NEVER. SUCK. A. BUTT." Squall pushed her off of him and jumped out of bed. "What the hell, Quistis? Why would you do this to me?"

"W-what?! … I walked by and you had this huge boner and you were talking in your sleep. You were all 'oh Quistis, yea gimme that sugar hun, _I'm gonna sperm_ ' — so I decided to sit on your face so you'd have a nice surprise when you woke up." Quistis pulled her pants on as the joy drained from her face. "It's… been a really fucking hard day, Squall, I just wanted to do something nice for us". She fell to her knees, sobbing, her butt hole clenched with rejection.

"Quistis.. I.. It's true, I've always wanted to mush our piipii's together! I've always thot u were hot. I just… I … I can't suck a butt! That's where _POOP_ happens and _POOP_ is _GROSS_."

"I didn't know! I always thought you were a booty butt boy! Oh Squall, I'm sorry. I feel so ashamed". Quistis sobbed into her own hands.

Squall took a kneel and gave her a hug.

"It's OK Quistis, it's not that I don't want you. I'd do anything to suck your toes. I'd let you piss in my eyeballs. I'd slurp up every last drop. I'm willing to grow! I'll try stuff! I just don't fuxxwit poo. It's not you, it's _poo_."

"Ok, Squall, I guess you can't suck a butt. But that doesn't mean I can't strangle your wangle, right?" Quistis pursed her lips and tried to look sexxi but her makeup was all runny and she looked weird.

Squall didn't care because he wanted to nut, so he was like "Ok cool".

Quistis gave Squall a big blow job.

" _Oh my god, I'm gonna sperm!_ ", yelled Squalled. He did a cum and some of it got on her hand and she wiped it on the sheets. She lay beside him and sighed. Squall had a stupid exasperated look on his face, while Quistis seemed unsatisfied.

"Something wrong? It wasn't good for you?", Squall looked to her nervously. Quistis rolled her eyes and looked away from him and Squall felt sticky and tense.

"It's…. nothing." She winced.

"I can eat your ass if you want? I know I said I'd never suck a butt, but I want you to be happy, Quistis."

"No. I don't want that."

"Can I make you some tea? Want a massage?"

"No."

"Quistis… Do ya smoke cigarettes?"

"…"

"Quistis…"

"Squall…. They… They're not releasing FFVIII on Nintendo Switch."

"…No, that can't be true!" Squalls eyes got all big and watery.

"Crystal Chronicles, FFVII, FFIX, X/X2, even that fucking chocobo mini game… All getting remastered and re-released…. They… They don't want us… You're a failure of a main character and you're scared to eat booty. This was a mistake". Quistis rolled over and turned her back to squall.

Squall wiped the cummies off his belly, picked up his giant sword and marched out of the room. He summoned Ifrit and they flew all the way to Japan where Godzilla tried to stop them, but Ifrit put meteor shower all up Godzilla's ass and Godzilla exploded lizard blood onto all the citizens of Tokyo and then the United States military came and Squall killed all of them.

Ifrit dropped off Squall at a big plaza, gave him a high-five and flew away. Squall rolled up at the Square Enix office, where all the characters from the other FF games were meeting up to get their makeup retouched. Cloud and Seifer were jacking each other off in the locker room and Squalled chopped the heads off of their dicks.

"What are you doing here Seifer?"

"OOH THE PAIN", screamed Seifer.

Squall gauged their eyeballs out and put the eyeballs up Clould and Seifer's butts and then they exploded. Then Squall blew up the whole building and left.

He went to the Nintendo headquarters and marched into the President of Nintendo's office, slicing heads off along the way.

"Why… Why did you do this to us? Why doesn't Nintendo want our game?" Squall's face was caked with the blood of the Nintendo President's underlings.

"Squall, don't kill me! I'll make your game! I'll re-release the game! Exclusive remaster! We'll do a remaster of the remaster! We'll go to Sony and convince them to cancel the FFVII remake do a full FFVIII reboot instead!".

"Ok, I won't kill you". Said Squall.

"Ok". Said the President of Nintendo.

Some time passed but the game never came out because Squalled killed everyone that knew how to make it. Quistis came over to Squall's apartment and told him to stop being a sad boy and that he was lucky he still hadn't been caught by the police.

"Squall, I'm leaving. I'm going somewhere far, far away." She turned away from him, and tried to repress the harsh memory of Squall's rejection, and his violent rampage that followed.

"Quistis... don't go."

"I can't live near you, knowing what you're capable of."

"Quistis… D-did you want me to eat your ass tho?"

"…No. Goodbye Squall." She left.

Squall realized that if he would have just gotten over his fear of eating booty in the first place instead of kink-shaming her, he could have made Quistis feel better and this big mess would have never happened. If only they'd have both nut, they probably wouldn't have cared about the Nintendo stuff, because all the games on the E-Shop are garbage anyway. Squall killed himself and reloaded his save, but it was too late. He only dreamt of death and destruction and missionary sex with the boring girl from the school dance. When he woke up again in the infirmary, there was no smelly butt above his face. Squall cried.

The end.


End file.
